Dear Satish,
I am sorry if this letter hurts you, but I must say what I must, mustn’t I? (Three ‘must’s in once sentence? What has happened to me?)
And what the heck! It’s meant to hurt you—plain and simple.
It’s all because of you (and that Sprint Star of yours).
What business did you have to enter that horse for a mile race in the first place? And if you had plans to enter him in the Classics, why was he named “Sprint” star?
Your brother has always been accused of fooling the public. No wonder he was your collaborator in this coup. Shame on you and shame on your brother.
The less said about your brother, the better. He had no business to win two plum Classics back-to-back in a matter of eight days. Who does he think he is? Calvin Borel?
Didn’t you realize we all great tipsters had tipped Aboline as a near-certainty for the race? Don’t you know it is our job to decide which is the best horse in a race? It’s just that we don’t always agree, or there is actually no reason to run a race in the first place. If our first three choices could be identical, the race clubs have agreed to directly give away the prizes in the paddock instead of making the horses run on the racetrack. Don’t you believe this? SMS me your fax number, and I will send you a copy of the letter written by the Turf Authority to our racing journalists’ association.
You have rubbed us the wrong way, and you will pay the price, Satish.
We have already ridiculed your winner, called you a liar and a red-boarder, and that’s only for starters. (In case you don’t know what is meant by redboarder, it’s a term used for people who claim ‘after the race’ that they had predicted the winner ‘before the race’).
We did not spare even the Indian Derby winner (Antonios) for beating our darling Set Alight. As you know, there was a story in every angle connected with Antonios’ victory—from owners who won two back to back Derbies with unfancied horses, to a septuagenarian trainer who won his first Derby in 1973 (that’s 36 years ago!) reviving his luck in an incredible way, to a Brazilian rider who converted a chance ride into Derby glory—but we just blanked them all out.
We had talked about Set Alight ad infinitum before the race, so we made sure everybody kept on talking about Set Alight ad infinitum after the race. That’s our power for you.
Antonios’ owner—Farouq Rattonsey—at least had the decency to admit he did not have the guts to say so although he personally fancied the horse’s chances. A lesser sin compared to yours, Satish.
You are really rubbing it in when you say that you were ‘very confident’ of winning the race. Some others are pointing out that for anyone with racing knowledge, Sprint Star’s mock race was a clear indication that the horse could upset. Why, in fact one of us writers—a blogger by the name Tiger—actually mentioned BEFORE the race that only Sprint Star was the horse to spoil Aboline’s party, a sin for which we fellow writers will never forgive him.
In fact, we have already called for an emergency meeting of all race writers to urge disciplinary action against this man. That should tell you we don’t even spare our own men who commit this unspeakable crime, so who do you think you are Mr Satish Narredu?
On behalf of the racing journalists’ association of India, I warn you to make the following corrections to your functioning style immediately, failing which, I am afraid the responsibility for the consequences will lie solely with you.
i) Not to give misleading names to horses owned or trained by you.
ii) If the first demand is not met, then at least not to enter a horse named ‘Sprint Star’ in a race beyond 1,400m and a horse named ‘Waiting For Cows To Come Home’ in a race under 1,200m.
iii) Not to enter horses in Classics.
iv) And if you enter, then not to win.
v) And if you enter and win, then not to give post race interviews.
vi) And if you enter and win and give post race interviews, then not to make a statement that you strongly fancied the horse.
vii) And if you enter and win and give post race interviews and say that you always fancied the horse, then you must produce the winning tote tickets or a Xerox copy of a bookmaker’s sheet to support your claim, failing which we reserve our right (and might) to go after you as we please.
(Self-appointed) President of the (non-existent) Racing Journalists’ Association of India
